H'Islander

OK - Maggie and Mrs. Reel are getting a LITTLE too brazen around here lately - I see more guys sporting black eyes than other things they'd rather be 'sportin' because the gurls are gettin' a little too big for their britches.....

This thread it an equal opportunity thread - just so long as the women folk remember their place....

(This is meant in good, fun spirits, so keep it comical and keep it clean, please....)

I'll fire the first shot....Because I gots no brains to begin with, eh?

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it had better be opened when she brings it to you.

Q: Why do men typically die before their wives do?
A: Because they WANT to...

Q: What food will instantly kill a woman's sex drive?
A: Wedding cake.

When I got married and I said "I do"...she was secretly thinkng "you mean you used to..."

Q: Why does a woman smile so brightly on her wedding day?
A: Because she knows she never has to have "creative" sex again...


Two old timers were fishing under a bridge. When a funeral procession passed above them one man stood, removed his hat and bowed his head in reverence. The other guy looks at hinm and says "geez, that was nice. I didn't know you had it in ya.." The other fellow replied "well, it's the least I can do, I was married to her for 40 years..."

ReelCrazySportfishing

LMAO!!!!!
that hit the nail on the head!!!!

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Connecticut Charter Fishing
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H'Islander

Q: Why do doctors slap a baby's bottom when they're born?
A: To knock the dicks off the dumb ones....

H'Islander

Q. Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A. Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.



Q: Why can't women drive:
A: They can't reach the steering wheel from the back seat.


In a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's Tall, built, with black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers, "Here. Iron this."

old mud

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of
her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowersthe
window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some
of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She
jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker
lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,


"Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his
head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the
blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker
rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are
losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up
and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back
to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says......

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Maine and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Don

__________________
"I was so poor growing up that if I wasn't a BOY I'd have had nothing to play with"
Piker Ancient Mariner

FMF

Q: what do the thousands of women in battered shelters all have in common

A: They just don't listen.....

FMF

why a e womens feet smaler

so they can get closer to the kitchen sink

FMF

why don't women need watches?



theres a clock on the stove

Whatever

Truer words have never been spoken. LMAO

ReelCrazySportfishing

This is going to get bloody

I cant wait!!!!!!

Im going to be smart and stay out of this one

__________________
www.ReelCrazySportfishing.com
Connecticut Charter Fishing
www.fishermansparadisect.com