H'Islander

TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH.....

Alarm goes off at 5 am ? Woken up by husband who is already getting ready ? way into his day and just now starting to get ready for work



I do 3 loads of laundry ? Split one load into 3 ridculously small loads because you CAN?T mix dockes and Jeans in the same load!


take a shower ? Establish occupied territory in Bathroom, Drain the hot water resources from the house and the neighborhood in a 45 minute shower (I had to shave my legs!!)


make youngest daughters lunch/snack for school ? PB&J and a bag of M&M?s flung into a backpack

get youngest daughters clothes for school ? Spend another 30 minutes infusing useless fashion nonsense on an impressionable youngster

wake up oldest daughter.. fight with her for the bathroom to get ready for work while she gets ready for school ? Conjure satan?s minion for the sole purpose of creating another drama episode that will end in tears and hugs

finally get ready for work ? Take a Xanax with a shot of baileys in my coffee

Wake up the Captain ? Demand husband?s attention

wake up youngest daughter ? Conjure Satan?s minion-in-training for the purpose of drama ending in tears and hugs

drive oldest daughter to school ? Drop daughter off on the way to go shopping for shoes before going to job (note I didn?t say going to work)

go to work for 8 1/2 hours ? check e-mail, have coffee, phone home, think about the shoes that you saw this morning on the way to the school, gossip about the girl that called in, think about how you really need those shoes, gossip about the girl that sleeps with the boss (yup, he?s a guy), phone home, you really deserve those shoes, go to lunch with the girls, coffee break, phone home, shoes, file 3 papers, make it seem like a huge inconvenience, punch out & go home.

drive home 1/2 hour ? Stop by at the mall on the way home to pick up the shoes you?ve been jonesing on all day.

pick up oldest daughter from friends house ? I gotta show these shoes off to SOMEONE!!!?.

get home ? Hide the shoes from the husband

cook dinner ? micro-wave the leftovers from the meal the husband cooked last night.

wash dishes (no dishwasher Captain doesn't know how to hook one up) ? Tell the daughters to wash faster.

do more laundry ? separate the next single load into 4 piles ? do separately.

give youngest daughter a bath/shower ? Hurry up in there, will ya? I have to pop a zit that?s driving me crazy!!!!

Maybe on a good night sit down around 8:30 ? Stare at the new shoes

put youngest daughter to bed ? Check on those shoes again

then perform wifely duties...check credit card balances, check hubby?s wallet for mysterious phone numbers, count the beer cans hubby consumed today.

Oh yeah then try to look good if he decides that he wants to do something, ya know put on makeup, but quickly...Apply night cr?me generously, put hair up so it looks like I was just in a cat fight hoping he?ll just roll over and go to sleep (he sees her and does just that).

ReelCrazySportfishing

LMAO!!!!!
OH MY GOD!!!!!
THAT IS SOME FUNNY $HIT!!!!!!!!

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ReelCrazySportfishing

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.

She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits." "I can splash it on my eyes."

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ReelCrazySportfishing

I have to get me one of these

Attached Images

zipper.jpg (12.1 KB, 4 views)

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MrsReelCrazy

I was told that I had to come on here and defend myself... this is something that I think that Reel Crazy should defend me.....

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FMF

uh oh...little giwl getting frustwated?

Whatever

Something tells me Pat's other arm is going to be in a sling real soon. LOL

Capt Neil Faulkner

Hi,

Are you guys crazy or what? Man, even I know better than to get into this.

CN

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(631) 567-8049

MrsReelCrazy

TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH.....

Alarm goes off at 5 am – Woken up by husband who is already getting ready ? way into his day and just now starting to get ready for work
not me remember my husband isn't working


I do 3 loads of laundry – Split one load into 3 ridculously small loads because you CAN’T mix dockes and Jeans in the same load!
do yo like pink socks?

take a shower – Establish occupied territory in Bathroom, Drain the hot water resources from the house and the neighborhood in a 45 minute shower (I had to shave my legs!!)
45 minute shower.. I would love that one

make youngest daughters lunch/snack for school – PB&J and a bag of M&M’s flung into a backpack
no PB&J in this house....
get youngest daughters clothes for school – Spend another 30 minutes infusing useless fashion nonsense on an impressionable youngster
my daughter has a better fashions sense than I do

wake up oldest daughter.. fight with her for the bathroom to get ready for work while she gets ready for school – Conjure satan’s minion for the sole purpose of creating another drama episode that will end in tears and hugs
Satans conjure I'm gonna sound blonde at the moment but what is that... tears and hugs.. she is 14 that doesn't happen

finally get ready for work – Take a Xanax with a shot of baileys in my coffee
Xanax yes I need a prescription for that .. try living in this house

Wake up the Captain – Demand husband’s attention
Unfortunately.. yeah I guess you are right here

wake up youngest daughter – Conjure Satan’s minion-in-training for the purpose of drama ending in tears and hugs
no tears from this one

drive oldest daughter to school – Drop daughter off on the way to go shopping for shoes before going to job (note I didn’t say going to work)
shopping.. I am not the normal wife I don't like to shop and definately not for shoes

go to work for 8 1/2 hours – check e-mail, have coffee, phone home, think about the shoes that you saw this morning on the way to the school, gossip about the girl that called in, think about how you really need those shoes, gossip about the girl that sleeps with the boss (yup, he’s a guy), phone home, you really deserve those shoes, go to lunch with the girls, coffee break, phone home, shoes, file 3 papers, make it seem like a huge inconvenience, punch out & go home.
I wish that my job I had email

drive home 1/2 hour – Stop by at the mall on the way home to pick up the shoes you’ve been jonesing on all day.
maybe the new pocketbook

pick up oldest daughter from friends house – I gotta show these shoes off to SOMEONE!!!….
pocketbook
get home – Hide the shoes from the husband
hide something I bought.. not me remember that I am the one who buys $500.00 or $600.00 dollar fishing setups... I don't have to hide anything

cook dinner – micro-wave the leftovers from the meal the husband cooked last night.
cna't do that husband heated those for lunch today.

wash dishes (no dishwasher Captain doesn't know how to hook one up) – Tell the daughters to wash faster.
my daughters are princesses they don't clean the house.. ask Reel Crazy

do more laundry – separate the next single load into 4 piles – do separately.
again with the pink socks

give youngest daughter a bath/shower – Hurry up in there, will ya? I have to pop a zit that’s driving me crazy!!!!
no I can pop that while she is in there

Maybe on a good night sit down around 8:30 – Stare at the new shoes
the new pocketbook sounds better

put youngest daughter to bed – Check on those shoes again

then perform wifely duties...check credit card balances, check hubby’s wallet for mysterious phone numbers, count the beer cans hubby consumed today.
I don't have creditcards.. check the husbands wallet.. No not me I am not the jealous type, I do not go into his wallet unless he is right in front of me.

Oh yeah then try to look good if he decides that he wants to do something, ya know put on makeup, but quickly...Apply night cr?me generously, put hair up so it looks like I was just in a cat fight hoping he’ll just roll over and go to sleep (he sees her and does just that).
If only it were that easy, i could put a bag over my head and it wouldn't matter.

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MrsReelCrazy

giwl frustwated.. yeah you are definately from Staven...
no.. just remebering that I am dealing with men (well age wise anyway), and dealing with men is like dealing with my kids who cannot have an intellegent conversation, always have to try to win and have the last word.(also just like people from Staven..I can say that also cause I grew up there)

oh yeah and how are you and Reel Crazy making out with that beer....

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